If I had a time machine, I would go back to every moment some group of settlers decided to move to a place with awful weather, and warp in the middle of their conversation and yell, “halt! What the hell do you think you’re doing? You must leave, now!”
There’s altogether way too many cool places to live in today’s world that are cursed with shitty weather. Either we start making diasporas and building cool cities elsewhere, or we must go back and stop this nonsense before this occurs in such a large scale.
I like to envision my time machine to be highly portable, in the form of an app on my phone, perhaps, that would ravish me covered in sparkling, purple darkness as though eaten up by a black hole.
There’s an outcome of possibilities that could come out of a situation of this kind. They’d be so perplexed from my magical appearance, some might immediately start worshiping me. Some might attempt to burn me on some sort of stake. I need to be well-prepared.
I’ve come up with a list of essentials that I must have on my person.
- A one-handed, swift and classy weapon, like a katana
- A powerful lighter, because you never know
- My own personal dire-wolf, trained
- A moustache, obviously
- And, well, I’m working on the speeches that I’ll be giving. Perhaps I’ll personalize each one according to the era. I’ll make sure to really sway them with relatable topics of discussion. It’ll be mind-blowing.
But until then, I should probably find a new home that doesn’t kick me in the face with freezing winds of peril.